Fear is perfectly natural and enhances our ability to learn and grow, when we experience great fear we are forever left with imprint that event made upon us. That impact can be minor or major but depending upon our disposition it can be taken simply as the experience it was, recognised when it appears, or it can consume us, slowly devour our inner strength and leave us afraid to face the world head on. Such a result appears to be common place, perhaps because we spend so much time and effort distracting, distorting and combating these fears out of a misguided animalistic instinct to ‘not appear weak’ that we have given them too much power.
I am often hinting in various ways at the weight we all seem to carry around, the wieght we have built throughout the years we have lived in this potentially scary world. The reason for this is simple, we need not live as suffering entities hidden behind mask of confidence, this is weakness, surely we can see it? Everything we do to appear strong externally only reveals the internal weakness that feels the need to do this, we have likely all heard the one about the man with a small ‘manhood’ buying a massive car to compensate. In the same way any external change we create simply screams of the insecurity that created the behaviour, we all see this yet we still engage in a game of ‘who creates the best illusion’.
Regardless of this I truly do not believe we understand the full impact this primal behaviour has upon us, our mental strength, our independent confidence, and a full range of mental illnesses it breads and feeds. If you must rely upon the permission of the external to adaquately shape who you are inwardly then of course you are undermining yourself, most of us are the results of a lifetime of just such behaviour, I know I was. As a result we now live with the scars of it, every traumatic experience has further reinforced our general levels of fear. Now due to this madness the very notion of something scarring us, making us afraid and vulnerable becomes un-bearable, we avoid challenging ourselves because we are now afraid of being afraid.
Looking at this logically it makes perfect sense, it was not so long ago we crawled out of a world where daily survival called for such heightened levels of anxiety, when every corner presented a viable threat to our existence… Weakness then was simple and physical, the strongest won, however that strength manifested itself, if it proved successful it would inherit power. Now we live far longer in a civilised world that seems very far removed from the primal tribal/hunter gatherer times, we have replaced a constant need to be alert with a warm house with running water. We are a culture that can survive and thrive with relative ease. Biologically however we are still completely the same, (it takes much longer for genetic information to catch up) and as a result we battle, appearing strong and suffering for it despite the fact that anyone with a basic level of modern maturity could see past this if they choose to do so.
So what’s the answer? well so long as we are determined to appear strong we are harming both ourselves and others, many will live and die before we can feel it is safe enough to reveal their vulnerability without others taking advantage. Still we teach people that this world is very serious and the purpose of each of us is to conform to a rigid reality and be somethings that is not actually who we are. Good fun right? Of course it isn’t, behind the scenes we all must face our inner fear, born through a fear of the outside, despite how confident, happy and un-deterred people appear there is always more beneath the surface. Some end the lives because the torture is to great and other distract themselves with drink and drugs or work and keeping busy all because the one thing we are sure of is that we cannot admit the simple truth:
‘We are mortal, we still live in a world where death is around every corner and it could all end at any moment and beyond that we can have faith and belief but never truly know until it is our time’.
It is almost amusing to realize that in all honesty we don’t believe this, such a morbid comment has no place in daily life because it could cause chaos yet once the power of this statement is faced as a simple truth then what is there left to fear? Too many of us suffer alone because too many of us hide our suffering, we seek to appear strong by showing others we are never down, unhappy or hurt but in reality we are ensuring that those who need help are too afraid to seek it, to afraid to appear weak and so must suffer. It is up to each of us to show true strength now, we are mature enough to recognise reality now, to accept it as it is an be okay with it, in doing so we accept ourselves and all others.
The only really weakness is being too afraid to face oneself as you are not as our minds have been traumatically abused us into believing we should be, if you catch yourself hiding a weakness stop for a moment and ask yourself if it could possible that the person you are hiding from is just afraid. Your admittance of your own problems helps others open up to their own, show only a flat face-wall and that is all you will inspire.
Not convinced? Well I shall get us started, I am afraid of looking weak, of appearing weak to my peers, friends and even Bob, the guy I literally just met… big crowds freak me out like being trapped. Flying is pretty much one long panic attack and I have an irrational phobia of being thought of as being ‘insane’ and losing my freedom because of it. I will almost never express a romantic interest in another unless I have huge amounts of reassurance that I will not get hurt, I struggle to be assertive because I feel rude speaking over people… all of this I recognise in myself and gladly I can accept it.
That is just a start but hopefully you see the point, I find nothing more relieving than discovering those I have thought to be invincible are as human as me because it allows us to feel closer and to understand how normal such things are…
The more focus we put into hiding our fears the more power they will have over us, hence why we take life so serious, it’s a huge sign of how afraid of losing it we are yet is living a life in fear truly living a life? When we recognise and accept fear and see how we are actually more ‘afraid of fearing’ than actually ‘afraid in reality right now’, the veil, the fear of mortality is gone and life no longer needs to be so serious… 🙂
feel free to share your own hidden fears in the comments, show others how human you are, inspire those who suffer in silence to open up and understand that we are all human and it really is okay, it won’t change either way so why suffer it?
Peace and love, just enjoy yourself, your amazing whether you want to see that or not