A journey down the rabbit hole

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Hello dear reader 🙂 there is a smiley face for you because it is a guilty pleasure of mine I will admit, to enjoy seeing clicks on the stats page of my blog so here is another one 🙂 just for you.

So this is going to be a little different from my other blogs because I think about them before I write them a lot more than I will be doing here as instead I want to express myself fluidly from a nice peaceful place I feel at this moment. Another confession before… well before the next sentence… I was going to title this blog ‘A journey down the rabbit Whole’ (see the ‘w’??)… You see I am feeling very whole as these words are written and that crafty play on words was going to be a sort of trick but I don’t want to trick you and considering how bad I am at spelling naturally then it would be hard to tell if it was intentional… yes so if this already seems a wee bit weird for you then feel free to wait (or not) for the next more tangible blog… don’t say I didn’t warn you 😛

Intention! What a fantastic word this is, perhaps it is the perfect place to kick start this journey because we all intend a great deal do we not? Intend to loose weight, gain weight, exercise, achieve, win and rewards ourselves. We awake with the intention of getting back to sleep, after all, how cosy is bed when you first wake up! I don’t understand it personally, as if some puppet master of life is laughing away at us as we drag ourselves out of bed, snoozing as much as the beloved snooze alarm allows… In that moment our intension is simple, survive the day and get back to bed, after a coffee it’s a different story and though our intention was in one place it is soon changed to the ‘next’. On a side note isn’t it annoying that when we finally do get back to bed, that beautiful comfort of the morning we so earnestly intended to re-visit is in fact replaced what seems to be an iron bed with endless games of toss and turn, our intention now is to disappear and sleep….

‘NEXT!’ says the brain does it not? In bed at night the ‘next’ is sleep and the comfort of lying in a place we didn’t want to leave just hours before, the comfort that is finally ours in all its glory is ignored by the brain that wants only to sleep. Of course I am using a metaphor for the ‘next thing’ that curse we place upon ourselves that prevents us from actually living life… when we drive to a destination how often are we lost in the ‘next’, the destination and how little time do we give ourselves to enjoy the fact that we are tootling along in a fantastic combination of metal and fuel, the magnificence of the surrounding we pass, some of which we have never witnessed before. Perhaps the car shows us an example of how much progress we have made towards the ‘next thing’, there was a time when a journey was in of itself the adventure, when the pace at which we travelled made the enjoyment of those simple things like the trees, the birds, the strange shadows much easier, now instead we are easily bored.

Boredom comes to us so quickly now, how many of you have noticed this thing? It has become common place to sit with friends while lost in the depths of our phones, I am guilty of this myself actually, the moment conversation gives way to a period of quiet it is almost unbearable for us not to seek excitement on Facebook, twitter or some nonsense game. How many people in the modern world appreciate the calm that sitting quietly brings, despite being busy busy busy all the time, one would think those moments of peace would be much appreciated however appreciating simplicity like that has become rather underrated. Where is the route of this strange phenomenon, we spend our lives avoiding the true moment of life, the one and only moment that we are living at every step, the moment we embraced completely as children when one game carried us to the next so fluently (I used the word next again :D).

Instead we enjoy… at least we have convinced ourselves we enjoy… a life of concepts, a life entirely consumed by our far too overrated brains, after all if we are always focused on the next moment, getting to work, getting home, finishing this task, earning this amount then at what point are we ever actually viewing reality? The mind made world seems to build itself upon our experiences, we are given a name some time near birth and that simple idea, that physical memory we are taught to recognise as self becomes who we are. With that so all the other labels we associate with what we are, human, animal, friend, foe, gardener, dry-stone Waller, second best toe tapper east of the next town over…

So by the time adulthood looms no wonder we are all busy filling ourselves with more of these strange labels, we have completely lost sight of what life is and our place in it, replaced instead by a doppelganger conjured and remembered by that pesky mind. This ego becomes the centre of our universe, its opinions become belief and that belief strengthens this warped idea of who we are yet it only takes a moment to see past its false shallow nature, to realise it is like some phantom taking place in our minds and bares no real resemblance to this wonderful life. Thomas David Robinson is not needed for me to ‘be’ like all other forms of life that live their existence ‘I’ is surely enough, why do we spend so much energy celebrating the notions of ‘I am this, I am that, I want to be this etc etc’ when all this does is mask reality behind a construct of an over-active brain that takes itself too seriously.

Don’t simply take my word for it, look for yourselves, if you take away all the physical experiences you have had in this life do you disappear? If you take you memories away, your ideas of what is and is not, your very name and identity then is that it, is life over or have you simply ended the life of your ego, a ghost who was never alive in the first place. What is then left? instead of something that ‘is this’ or ‘was that’ or even ‘will be eventually’ surely what is left is reality, a sense of ‘isness’ that doesn’t need the brains meddling to comprehend, a clear space from which actual life can be seen as it is, as we knew it as children before ‘ego’ had a chance to steal the throne from our ‘beings’ simple ‘beingness’. Again I say find this out for yourself, it is delightfully simple because how much effort does it take to simply be?

The mind after so many years of control will not like this by the way, I know for myself that despite the laid back wonderful feeling of simple ‘isness’ my ego was not so willing to give up the power it had so long fought to maintain but like a salesman at the door, just because thoughts come doesn’t mean we have to purchase them. After all if we have any power in this life it is to experience it not as a concept, not as a period of time or a progressive network of notions and memories, instead as the wonderful flowing mosaic of expression that is always changing and that could never be described entirely, especially through thoughts formed as words. The reason for this is that thoughts come secondary to life and unfortunately for those with illusions of grandeur, that includes all of anything we ‘think’ to be true simply by the fact that it did not require us to think of ‘it’ for ‘it’ to be before this.

The mind is cunning in its ways and being so used to it at the wheel I found myself forever falling back into its web of lies but now whoever I catch myself paying attention to a train of thought that is blinding me to the reality of the world around, laughter comes and it all seems so absurd. The mind has no real power, it is a servant in the house, not the master and there is no way to say what the master ‘is’ because concepts and thoughts are secondary to it and that is okay because it is only the ego mind that has a problem with it but in fact it is delightfully natural and since that realization sprung in my own life has.. Come alive once again 🙂

These words come but I have no idea if anyone will understand them, after all if an ego reads propaganda against it then surely it will release all its secret weapons to subdue the rebellious notion who knows, all I realize now is that life does not have to be suffered and I love you all regardless 🙂

This has been a mist enjoyable write

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